Today was a big day. Not in relevance to anything I’ve been talking about on the blog, just normal life/work stuff. Big day. I haven’t mentioned this as yet, my career etc. Perhaps I should. You want to know more about me, yeah? I’ve kept the veil of mystery over the rest of my life for, oooh, a whole 5 days. Good enough! (Told you I was crap at keeping secrets). So…drum roll please…I’m a teacher! Phew, glad I got that off of my chest. What a relief!
In reality though, that is who I am. I’m in my second year of teaching, after embarking on a new direction from a previous career. I absolutely adore teaching: it gives me opportunities I would never otherwise have in life, be it camps, excursions to art galleries, talks with well known authors and artists. The best part is the students. They are just brilliant. They can be tough, very tough. But bloody hell it’s worth it when you can help them, and you see them learning something that you showed them how to do. I guess in that way it must be similar to parenting, where you’re providing your experience and knowledge, and watching the development over the years to a fully fledged person. Like I said, it’s a wonderful job, but it can be tough.
Today was one of those days, where I missed meals, breaks and anything in between. I felt like I was running the length of the school every hour or so. Then when I got home, it was marking time, and my students did not perform well on the latest assessment, which always breaks my heart. It’s still very early in the year, and I know I can turn them around and build on the results now that we have a starting point, but it’s always enormously deflating seeing a student try so hard and not succeed. I didn’t realise until I became a teacher that teachers really care how their students are performing, that it hits them almost as hard as it hit me if I didn’t meet my own standards. Multiply that by 27 and you get an idea of the feeling when the class average is a way below what you had hoped. I question myself, my methods and my ability to teach every time.
So at the moment I’m not the happiest of campers, but rest assured tomorrow I’ll rally. We’ll plan for the next assessment, and I will help my students improve, and again shoot for the stars. Just not today. Today I wallow.