Friends with bumps

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I had a Skype catch up last week with two very old friends, both of whom are now pregnant, one who is ready to pop! It was lovely to see them both, and fascinating to see them at such different stages of a huge part of their lives. Both are expecting their first child, one is at 38 weeks, the other at 16. The difference in their progression was of course obvious, however it was their completely alternate attitudes that I noticed the most. Ms 38 weeks is enormously organised (as you’d want to be with 2 weeks to go!), and has been so for the entire pregnancy. She has a fantastic attitude of order, with a dose of reality. She eats extremely well, exercises carefully, and has had a great pregnancy despite developing gestational diabetes, which she has handled with aplomb. Ms 16, on the other hand, seems the opposite. She has had a rough ride of morning sickness, and seems quite blasé about what’s happening to her. While she had planned the pregnancy, her circumstances are chaotic – a new relationship, a pending move to be with the father in an as-yet-unbuilt house, and an aversion to wanting to buy anything for the baby, as she’ll “do all that later”.

Now, I know I’m sounding very judge-y here, and I really don’t mean to. I’m just fascinated by the different approaches people have to having kids. I must admit, my own perspective is skewed by my desire for children, and as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve already completely overanalysed the entire future pregnancy before it’s even happened. Perhaps I have something to learn from 16, perhaps her easygoing approach in pregnancy will translate to easygoing parenting.

Back to me though (c’mon, blogs are inherently narcissistic, and chances are I’m only talking to myself…). It was a lot harder than I imagined to talk to two people who are going through what I want so badly. These are two friends with whom I always feel comfortable, who I know I can be myself around. And yet I found myself plastering a smile on as they joked about me being next, and asked why I wasn’t pregnant yet. Thankfully I wasn’t in the process of trying, or trying to deal with another month gone by without conception, or I don’t think any fake smile in the world could have masked my emotions. I finished the phone call quite melancholy, which is ridiculous. Namely because we’re not trying yet, I’m not dealing with failed attempts at conception, and I’m genuinely happy for my friends! No matter my logic, it was a hard catch up. I can only hope that in 6 months’ time I’ll be the one glowing with pride.

Jane xx

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Fur babies

In my hiatus from baby-obsession, I have done what any sane, non-baby-obsessed person would do. Yes, you’re quite right. I focused on my career and built my investment portfolio bought a dog.

We are now the proud parents of two fur babies: our all-knowing eldest, 5 year old Cat, and the newly adopted, 1 year old cavoodle Dog. He was your usual heartstring-tugger. Abandoned by his owner, left in the vague care of the leftover housemates, he was overgrown, unloved, and un-cared for. Our little Dog came to us in need of our obsessive love for him, and boy did he get it. Within 2 hours of adopting him, he was clean and shiny, trimmed with a new collar, new premium food and waaaay too many toys.

Anyways, if you can’t tell, we love him. He is the sweetest natured being, only wants to be loved and be near you (can you tell I’m new to dogs?), and the best part is I haven’t completely ruined Cat’s life with the new addition. Sure, he chases her like crazy, but she kind of loves it. And though he pees on the carpet and chews my shoes when I’m not watching (and in one horrific incident, was found avidly licking my used undies…ew.).

Still, a lovely addition to our family, and he will be a great companion for our future brood. I’m already envisioning walks with Dog and Baby, smiling contentedly while sipping a latte. Living in dreamland, aren’t I?

Just to show you how beautiful he is, here is a picture of my new fur baby, Dog. I challenge you not to love his cute little face.

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Update: Nothing doing…

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I thought it was time to give an update to say, well, nothing’s happening. Fortunately for us this isn’t a “we’re trying and it’s just not working” post, as that would be far harder to write. For now, this is simply a limbo post. This month was intended to be the “start trying” moment, the exciting beginnings of the next chapter. Instead, it’s more of a “same old” moment.

As I’ve mentioned previously, we’ve decided to wait a few more months, purely for financial reasons. As much as I despise the current Prime Minister, I’d be a fool not to make use of his ridiculously generous maternity leave scheme. Financially for us it means roughly another $10,000, which equates to more time off for me, meaning I might be able to take 12 months off instead of 6. Logically, this all makes perfect sense. Emotionally however is another matter. Ever since Mr Nester and I started the baby chat, the possibility of being a parent and having a child has been swirling through my mind. In the first few months of discussion, I had pretty much everything sorted, down to nappy colours.

Fast forward a few months to where I am now, and the initial excitement has worn off, replaced with what seems like an eternal wait: first, to even start trying, and then the unknown lapse until we fall pregnant. I’ve never been good with uncertainty, with waiting patiently (Mr Nester will be nodding vigorously here), and the time until something actually happens seems to be forever away. In the meantime, I’m still taking pregnancy vitamins, which seems pretty pointless at the moment. I don’t want to stop them though, as currently it feels like the only tie to our plans. Everything else seems frozen in time.

So in the meantime, it’s business as usual. My focus is on our upcoming trip to the UK in September, and the knowledge that not long after that, it will be “time”. Here’s hoping all goes well after that.

Jane xx