It’s been a while. How are you? What’s new? Blogs are shit for conversation, aren’t they? Instead, let me spiel at you for a while. Here’s a bit of an update. When I left you last, I was half way through my first month of trying to conceive. I am now in my fourth month of trying. Let’s recap:
Cycle 1: I stayed sane for, oooh, about 3 days before the mania set in. Ovulation tests: bought (many, many ovulation tests). 2 decimal place thermometer: bought (apparently one decimal place is for amateurs). Checking cervical mucus and cervix position: daily.
It was a little mad. The worst part for me was the temperature tracking. I could deal with the rest, it was quite interesting, however the combination of having to wake up at 6am every morning (it apparently isn’t accurate if you take it at different times, and it has to be done as soon as you wake up, no excuses) along with a change in temperature dictating my entire mood for the day had me a little wacky. See the idea is that your temps stay nice and steady up until ovulation. The day before you ovulate, your temperature drops, and then spikes on the big O. Then, if you’ve got everything right, it stays high and you’re pregnant.
It never worked for me. The temps would be all over the place, and after ovulation I would be manically checking, pleading with myself to have higher temps. That cycle, my temps were all over the place, as was I, and unsurprisingly I didn’t get all nice and knocked up.
Cycle 2: still manic, still tracking, but getting increasingly frustrated at the temp tracking and losing faith in its effectiveness. The thing is, it doesn’t increase your odds of conceiving any. It’s just a way to tell a little earlier if you might be pregnant, and to see when or if ovulation occurred (although it’s not foolproof, so needs to be done with ovulation tests anyway. Cycle 2 ended as Cycle 1 had, with nothing to show.
Cycle 3: I was over it. Completely. Took a break from tracking altogether: no tests, no temps, no cervix, lots of sex. A much nicer month, that alas, didn’t result in anything.
Cycle 4: my current cycle. A little different this time around. Still no temps, but I decided to use the ovulation tests again, just so my knowledge of where I was in my cycle was a little more accurate. The last three cycles, I was symptom checking like crazy. I was nauseous, tired, had sore boobs, everything on the list of “early pregnancy symptoms”. Thanks Google. I do think I had a few of these genuinely, however I was so hoping for them I think that may have emphasised anything that was going on. Cycle 4 was different. After some well timed…ahem…sex…(no point in being modest now!), the very next day I had super sore norks, jugs, feed bags. You know. Then at 6DPO (days past ovulation), I had this pain. A sharp, stabbing pain on my left side, down low on my abdomen. Hurt like hell, then it was gone. Of course, I tested a couple of days later, at 8DPO. Negativo. Like all the others (I think I’ve peed on about 20 prego sticks by now, maybe 30. It’s a disease). I made myself wait until 10DPO, before I tested again.
Let me set the scene: it’s 6am, my alarm has gone off, and I’ve stumbled into the bathroom to take what I’m convinced will be another negative test. I’m so bleary I pee in a cup instead of on the stick as this one requests (not my best at dawn, bodes well for me…). I swear. I stick the stupid stick into the cup of pee (God my life is sexy!), stare at it for a minute or two.
Turn on the shower, go to step in, take another quick look at the test before jumping in.
Tilt to the light.
Turn the shower off.
Walk back to bedroom. “Um, honey?”
Poor husband jumps to attention, turns the light on and tries to force his eyes to adjust to see the very, very faint second line on the pregnancy test. The test that says we’re having a baby…
Of course I’ve put these around the wrong way, so the bottom test is the first one (barely visible), but you can see on Saturday’s test how much clearer it’s become…
So that’s why I’m back. It was blood hard for the short time we had to deal with the cycle after cycle of hope and disappointment, but we are lucky enough to have had it work this time. I’m just hoping like hell that this little one sticks.
Jane (and ball of cells) xxx
PS. this is me, Week 3. All bloat, no bump at the moment!