Hello lovelies! I was going to put a well thought out and considered post for today’s events, but I just can’t seem to stop myself – we’re having a baby!!
We trooped off to the fertility specialist today for our first pregnancy ultrasound. It was again transvaginal (oh lovely), and I was absolutely packing it on the drive in. I had convinced myself that there would be nothing on the scan, and I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the bad news. Unfortunately, being the optimist that I am, I was also having little positive thoughts jump in as well – “what if there is something there?”, “imagine how amazing it would be to see a heart beat!”, and so on and so forth. So basically, I was a complete ball of nerves, swinging wildly from excited to terrified. I was trying to keep myself calm, and I must say one thing that helped a lot was revisiting a meditation I’d done last night, courtesy of the Mind the Bump pregnancy meditation app. I highly recommend it (you can check it out here – it’s Australian, so hopefully it’s available elsewhere too…), and returning to one of their exercises really helped me settle. Well, enough to focus on driving anyway.
Mr Nester and I arrived at the clinic, and our lovely specialist ushered us in. I made a beeline straight for the ultrasound room, which made her laugh: “no chit chat then? Let’s get down to business!”.
As I said, the ultrasound was transvaginal again, as I’m quite early on in the pregnancy so it can be hard to make out much using the abdominal scan. I couldn’t look at the screen. I just couldn’t bring myself to look at the lack of baby that I had convinced myself would show up. I stared straight up at the ceiling, waiting for the specialist to give us the bad news. My heart was pounding as she moved the wand around, paused, and said,
“Oh the baby looks great!”
My eyes shot to the screen, and sure enough, there was our little Grub with its tiny heart beating away.
You can see the yolk sac to the left, its head is at the top, and the start of little arm and leg buds poking out towards the right.
I swear my jaw actually dropped – it was completely mesmerising, especially when she got a good steady picture and we could see the heart beat! A strong 156 beats per minute, which is perfect. She also said our Grub was measuring at exactly the right size: 7+ weeks. I had apparently done my dates wrong as I thought I should be 7 weeks and 5 days today, but according to my transfer date I’m 7w3d.
The feeling of relief was immediate, and intoxicating. Mr Nester and I were pretty overwhelmed, and we sort of leapt at each other in a tight hug after the scan (me naked from the bottom down – literally right after the scan!). I’ve been grinning like a fool all afternoon, as I can finally let myself believe what we’ve been so cautious of – we’re having a baby!!
My 8 week update will be shunted to Sunday now with our new dates, but I’m so excited to say that we’re officially pregnant.