The funny thing about hospitals, is I used to hate them. There was a fear associated with that space, that was where things went wrong, where the sickest people were, where people died. That is obviously still the case – people are sick, people die. However, having spent quite a bit of time in and out of the hospital over the past year, firstly for Mr Nester’s cancer treatment and then through my own IVF and pregnancy appointments, I have lost that fear. Yes, hospitals can be places of despair and loss, but they are also where we go for hope, to be mended, to be saved. While the actual visits themselves were pretty awful for Mr Nester, and fairly exhausting (both emotionally and physically) for me, we were there to fix Mr Nester, to help him recover from a nasty affliction that needed urgent medical care (what a longwinded way of saying cancer!). And so, my attitude towards them has changed somewhat. Now, they are places where people are treated, where you meet the specialists that (hopefully) know exactly what needs to be done. For me, now, they are places of waiting. Of people watching and wondering what journey the others around me have been through.
My appointment last week was a regular check up, but this time with an obstetrician. The only thing I have had an issue with in this entire process is not knowing what to expect, every time I go to the hospital for a planned visit. Usually, my appointments with other medical specialists are either a check up, or because I have a specific reason for needing to see them. With pregnancy, it’s a little different. Yes, it’s a check up, to make sure things are progressing as usual, but other than that I’m in the dark. We had our morphology scan of Grub early last week, so my assumption was that I was going in to discuss the results, to make sure everything was alright on the scan. Of course, the hospital didn’t have the results. So no go there. As far as I know, everything is fine (my lovely GP gave me a copy of the results yesterday, and he seemed to think everything looked good). What is more frustrating is that I had brought in the scan images, just in case the results hadn’t been sent through. I offered them to the obstetrician, who looked at the CD, and said “no, that’s fine”. No other comment. Good-oh.
In terms of the actual appointment, she asked me how I was going, confirmed that Grub is an IVF baby (no other comment there), and gave me a blood pressure check, breast check, listened to my heart, and felt my stomach. The only comment from all of that was “your uterus is nice and high, looks like you’re growing nicely”. Yay me! She asked me if I had any questions, I asked about the next appointment, and how many I was likely to have. She told me the next one was in 4 weeks – that’s it. No more info. At one point she left the room to take a phone call. I have to say, I’m very glad I’ve booked into midwife care, rather than general care with an obstetrician (or obstetricians). While the obstetrician wasn’t aggressive or mean in any way, she was obviously busy, and I was obviously not the priority. I get it, but as a first pregnancy it’s nice to feel like the people in charge care what’s happening to you. The experience with the midwife was completely different, and I’m looking forward to my next appointment to hopefully return to a more personal approach. I don’t think of myself as a princess, but it’s nice to feel like the medical professionals actually give a shit who you are, and what’s happening in your pregnancy.
On the plus side of the appointment, the obstetrician used a doppler to listen to Grub’s heartbeat, which was lovely and strong again (although the OB didn’t say a word). After about 5 seconds of listening, Grub moved out of the way, and the OB had to search around again to find her heartbeat. When she did, she had it locked for about 3 seconds before Grub kicked the doppler wand. Right on it! I giggled, the OB didn’t change her expression. Tough crowd! It’s lovely to know that Grub is getting a little more control over her kicks, although it probably doesn’t bode well for my bladder or ribs in the near future…
So, in all, not the most thrilling of appointments. As the OB said, I have another one in a month (I was very specific with the booking desk to get back to the midwife program), and I’m assuming sometime soon after that I’ll have the glucose test for gestational diabetes, which I’m told is a big sugary drink that tastes awful. So much to look forward to!
Weekly update coming soon,