The ups and downs

I keep meaning to do big, regular updates on progress and development of Baby B, but the longer the gap from now and the last post, the more that I feel I need to cover, and so the more I delay writing. It’s obviously not working, so instead I thought I’d just write about what’s currently going on, and hopefully that gives you some insight on how B is going. 

At the moment we’re in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression, which I thought was over about 3 weeks ago. I was wrong. B went from very nearly sleeping through the night (we had two occasions where she slept from 9pm to 7:30am, and I cried with happiness), then suddenly she was back to waking, and waking, and waking. 4-5 times a night, wanting a lot more night feeds, and just generally doing her best to exhaust me. The day sleeps have never been good, but they turned nearly non existent for a while. That’s been going on for the last 4 weeks or so, and it’s finally starting to get better. Unfortunately B has also discovered how to screech when she doesn’t want to go to sleep, and screams like I’m attacking her whenever I try to rock her to sleep. Great fun!
All of this means that for the past few weeks she’s been on me all. The. Time. The only way we get day sleeps is if she sleeps on my chest, and the rest of the time she’s getting increasingly clingy. Again, this is a phase they go through about now, but it’s a hard one to deal with sometimes. I’ve always been someone who needs their own space, and having endless days with a baby literally attached at the hip can be draining. 

On the merrier side of things, B is such a happy baby, she’s a joy to be around. Every morning starts with the biggest smiles, and follows on to squealing giggles when she finds something (a funny face, noise or work) amusing. She seems to be growing by the day, and I’m already missing my lovely little newborn. 

So, it’s hard, but so good sometimes. Some days I despair, feeling like I’ve achieved nothing, and haven’t done anywhere near what I could do as mum to baby B. Other days are so wonderful I want this time to go on forever. I guess that’s pretty common, this ongoing contrast of the highs and lows of motherhood. It does make for a bit of a Jekyll/Hyde version of me – hopefully I’ll get the hang of it all sooner rather than later!
Jane xx