Just a quick note in response to the interview we all know, that we’re all talking about, regarding the founders’ opinions on family and conception.
To quote them:
“You are born and you have a father and a mother. Or at least it should be like this, that’s why I am not convinced by chemical children, synthetic babies, wombs for rent.” – Dolce & Gabbana, via Panorama Magazine
This angers me for oh so many reasons. The arrogance to dismiss anybody who cannot conceive naturally, whether through sexual orientation, infertility or otherwise, is abhorrent. To call much loved children of IVF, assisted fertility or surrogacy “chemical children” and “synthetic babies” is truly disgusting. How dare you? What right do you have to get on your soap box and dictate how other’s lives should play out?
We decided to go with IVF after trying for a few months, and discovering Mr Nester had Stage 3 bowel cancer. Our immediate options were to freeze sperm prior to treatment, and either wait the 2+ years in the hope Mr Nester’s production would return to normal, or use IVF either while dealing with cancer treatment, or later if we discovered Mr Nester was no longer producing any swimmers. We chose life, we chose our future, we chose hope. And so we chose IVF now, while dealing with cancer. Because if nothing else, cancer teaches you that waiting is never good, and you should live life while you can.
My question to Messrs Dolce and Gabbana is this: how, exactly, is it our fault that my husband developed bowel cancer? Do you think we have not suffered enough with this diagnosis, while in our thirties? Does this medical issue now take away our right to want children? Should we now have to pay for such a horrific time in our marriage with a lack of family? And lastly, how fucking dare you?
As you can see, I don’t quite agree with the fashion designers’ views. In fact, I find them horribly insulting to those who have found joy and success through the power of modern science.
If I ever had the misfortune to meet these clothes merchants, I don’t think I could hold myself back. My first instinct would be a rather large punch to the stomach, for ever daring to call the wonder that is currently forming within me “chemical” or “synthetic”.
On you Elton, I’m right with you.